Thursday, April 30, 2009
I have a bad habit.
Or at least I think that is its name. There's a little bit more depth to it than that though. I refuse to start anything unless I'm sure i'l
l finish it. Or I think I do. I usually do. It is SO hard to make a generalization about yourself cus it's most probable you contradicted it at least once. Regardless of what
I have done, in my thought process, when it comes to long term projects, I am automatically disinclined to work unless I have the motive
to complete a project. For example, essays assigned at the beginning of the week I usually end up doing the night before because I can't find the motive to finish them and end up never
beginning them. I'll sit and think to my self, "there must be something more urgent/immediate I need to do!". Maybe that is just plain and si
mple procrastination. Maybe I am addicted to instant gratification; actua
lly, I know I am.
I don't know if anyone else gets like this, but often I find myself feeling frustrated because I can't create a mental image of what's going on. I will literally break down if i can't do this. (I think that's why I'm so bad at math, because I need to see the each step of the equation l
aid out and the book skips steps and my own handwriting isn't usually neat enough for me to re-read (HAH).) I make lists. Really, you
should see my folder on the desk top, tons of documents with various names such as "Future Tasks" "New Ha
bits" "To-Do List 4-29-08", but sometimes even that's not enough to keep me on task. Someone mentioned in another blog post that
when they walk home from the train they think of great things to write about but once they get home they loose steam. That happens to me all the time, but I'm walking around my house or home from the train or I'm laying in bed and I try to picture what to
do next but I can't and then I'm afraid to start something for fear I'm overlooking another task that needs to be done more immediately.
Dude... deep stuff here...
but I originally meant for the two prior paragraphs to be about three sentences long. Ho
wever, now that I have addressed my horrible habit I
realize it needs to be cured. Fast. My prescription is to blog every day, even if it's about stupid stuff and in a listish format. This sounds silly, but I got a blog so i might be able to improve the flow of my writing through repetition. But
if I don't blog because i'm afraid of procrastinating how will I ever get my repetition in? So where i'd RATHER write something insightful, sometimes you may have to deal with me writing about grass
which I am bout to do
So today I wa
s walking home and I noticed that those bright unrealistically even and bright full green grasses are note quite as in this year, instead everyone's lawn is overgrown or full of
bright purple flowers or dandelions. HAH, the best part is when perfect grass was popular
that's when we were experiencing a drought... HAH
. I like it this way better though, with random flowers popping out in the
middle of the lawn. (will someone tell me if that's a comma splice? T
hose confuse me so much!) I also saw some squirrels and decided they almost ALWAYS clime up the tree in a circular pattern. I imagined myself hiding behind a tree from someone and just moving to the other side when they came around.
It would be awesome to be a squirrel... darting up the side of trunks, oh what fun! But imagine being a flying squirrel.
I think that may be better than being a bird. If you're a bird all you have to do is fly up and down and peck at things. How boring would that be? You know that song by Nelly Fertado (Sp) "I'm like a bird I only fly away, I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is." ... those lyrics are incredibly true. Birds have no purpose in life, i mean they obviously play an important part in the food chain but there's not much of a purpose beyond that. Squirrels, on the other hand, eat your garbage and pester you; now, that's a purpose!
wow... allow me to insert some photos to make this more interesting!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The highlights of today....
I have always thought myself to be very sensitive to other people's behaviors; today, I found out I was better than I thought. So I was stopped on harlem going south and checking myself out in the rear view mirror and fixing my hair. Out of the corner of my eye I see a forty -fifty year old man, kind of skummy looking in a tee shirt with a rugged beard and grey speckled hair, also stopped on harlem but facing north. Ice Cream by New Young Pony Club was playing and I thought to myself, "This could be really sexual, I bet that old man is checking me out, that would be sooo creepy!". Lo and behold I hear from my left "You look lovely today." ... A little freaked out by this I decide pretend I didn't hear it and check myself out in the mirror a little longer than necessary and hoping I somehow misheard. As the man drives by I look in my side mirror and catch him staring at me though his side mirror with a HUGE grin on his face. I ducked for cover.
Ice Cream - New Young Pony Club
So, I love the rain. It sounds typical teenage girlyish (dancing in the rain and such), but I can't help that it's typical! I didn't make everyone love the rain, I just know I do. I mean, what's not to love!? So, today, after spending a lovely afternoon with my friends Vaughn and helen; I got home and it was POURING. What do I do? Run outside with my electric camera (no nothing happened to it, I just thought that was ironic) and took pictures of puddles! The landscapers working down the block were literally gathered in a group, staring at me as I'm kneeling in the street. It was hilarious, and tons of fun! Here are some of my favorite pictures, but at the same time they don't really do much for me.... any tips on what I could do to make them better? Either editing tips or tips for upcoming photos would greatly be a appreciated
ALL of these (except my picture) I edited a tad... because I just get obsessed with contrast and such... and the one of the raindrop I cropped because there were some other less-cool rain drops that I didn't want in the pic.
This is me.... after my photo adventure
A rain drop.. I think it's rad. I cropped this
A dark puddle. Contrast.. I like dark and gloomy
I made this less saturated because I HATE the background... but it still looks kinda cool